Acknowledging and Healing Spiritual Emptiness
If we go deep enough inside ourselves, whether through psychotherapy, deep spiritual seeking, alternative healing modalities, or a combination of them, we may be fortunate enough to come to a place we have unknowingly long neglected or avoided. This place is a wound so deep in the shadows of our being that we must truly muster our courage to engage with it. Energetically, it can feel like a hole in our hearts or an utter emptiness at the core of our being which has been there beyond time and conscious understanding. It is a place of spiritual starvation that ravenously gnaws at our very self, at our heart, and at our soul. It exists in the most secluded, alienated shadows of our Self. It is also what unconsciously drives us to think, feel and behave in ways that diminish who we truly could be if we could transform this darkness into love and light.
There are examples of people with this emptiness all around us. One we all can see is the billionaire that is so afraid of this sense of lack in themselves, they keep lavishing themselves with more and more riches. They even lobby politicians for tax cuts and tax loopholes to avoid paying their fair share of taxes so they can feel that they have enough, but inside, they are in deep spiritual poverty. It is in casinos where gambling addicts desperately keep playing to win until they lose everything they own, destroy their lives, and the lives of the people who loved them. And honestly, it is in many of us, too, showing up in varying degrees of overcompensating behaviors, all in an effort to soothe or fend off feeling that starving place within us.
So, what is this gnawing, voracious need that can relentlessly drive us without our knowing it? What is this emptiness that can virtually own us? I suspect that there are many different layers of defenses and behaviors that come from and constellate out of each of our individual core wounds. But I have come to learn that at our most vulnerable center is the deep spiritual and human need for unconditional self-love and acceptance. Why does the lack of unconditional self-love and acceptance hurt so much that we cannot face into it easily and just love ourselves? I believe it is because the very youngest part of us holds out as long as it possibly can to receive unconditional love and acceptance from its family of origin. Unfortunately, our family was unable to give this to us because they did not receive it from their family of origin. They sadly did not have it inside themselves to give to us. So inadvertently, their lack begets ours. Just like them, we develop this painful and raw need to somehow be seen and mirrored with loving and accepting eyes from those who did not have it to give. We are well and truly caught on this emotionally damaging hook that subconsciously drives us to keep trying for that love and acceptance, no matter what.
No one can give what they do not have inside themselves, including our very human parents. But we can seek out seasoned professionals to lead us towards ourselves. And it takes time, and gentle guidance from a trained professional, for us to acknowledge that hurt part of us. And it takes time to process and accept this truth. There is hopeful and good news though! If and when we do give up this impossible task and grieve that we will never get this unconditional love and acceptance from our family of origin, we can give ourselves the lifechanging opportunity of loving and fully accepting ourselves. We can learn how to love ourselves unconditionally and heal that empty place inside us. This happens when we learn about and accept our wounded hearts and get to know, love, and accept our true selves - warts, and all. And when we do, we can create space for so much self-love that we have more than enough love to share with those we care about the most. And we can let go of all of that wasted and exhausting effort to find that love outside of ourselves. Ironically, we discover that the more we love ourselves, the more we love others, and the more others love us. Sure, not everyone is going to love or even like us, but it doesn’t matter like it used to. It doesn’t matter anymore because we have more than enough love inside of ourselves for ourselves.
To support you on this inner journey of learning self-love and acceptance, I would like to recommend four of Evolve Aromatherapy’s Spiritual Inhalers. I would recommend Forgiveness, Angel Hugs, Angels and Guides, and Grounding. Forgiveness for yourself and for others will help you to love yourself more deeply. Angel Hugs will call in your spiritual team to comfort you while you grieve and forgive. Angels and Guides will help you to learn how to feel the presence of your team and you can learn to communicate with them. Grounding will help you to feel calmer, more embodied, and easier on yourself as you do the work to learn how to love and accept yourself. With the assistance of these angelically channeled spiritual inhalers, you will find navigating through the transformation and evolution of your soul’s journey to self-love and acceptance to be a more supported and gentler one.
Wishing you love and inner peace,
Jean